The impact of beauty standards created by social media

From the moment I started using social media and following celebrities, models and influences, the way I looked at myself began to change. As I scrolled past “perfect” bodies and “flawless” faces, I questioned my own appearance.

Comparing yourself to others is difficult in itself. Filters on Snapchat, Instagram, and Tik Tok feed us the same idealised image of beauty, and I felt as though this confirmed that anything different was not worthy of appreciation. I did not meet the desired standard of beauty I was being shown.

These messages portrayed through social media tell us which parts of our body to hate and which parts to love. You find yourself scrutinising your features in front of the mirror, comparing how much bigger your nose is than when you use that filter, and how your hips don’t look the same as that model's.

So, if this is the message that young girls (and boys) are faced with time and time again, how do we feel like we are good enough?

It’s a beautiful thing to see the good in other people, but not when you can’t see it in yourself too.

Have you imagined yourself with a different body that would be good enough in your eyes? Because I have… and despite what you may think, so has every celebrity, influencer, and model you see on social media.

We are blinded by these seemingly perfect images and forget that the people in the photos are just the same as you. They also have parts that they don’t like as much as others, but are they going to post pictures of those? No. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s best features, because that’s all you see online.

Not to mention, half of those bodies you see have been airbrushed, photoshopped, and have been taken in the perfect lighting. You’re comparing yourself to an unrealistic image. This results in insecurities that act as a restraint for years to come. I’m sure we can all think of a time where we haven’t worn something, haven’t got in that photo, or didn’t enjoy a night out because of the anxiety we felt about our appearance.

If you follow the mindset of trying to be like someone else rather than loving and embracing yourself, then you will never be satisfied. There will always be something you wish you could change.

What is classed as the “ideal” today, will not be the same “ideal” tomorrow. The size and shape of your body, the proportions of your facial features, the colour of your eyes – these are all trends that change every five or ten years, or even quicker.

How can you compare your body to a temporary beauty standard? I look back at the time I wasted feeling insecure and torturing myself over an unattainable goal. It’s an endless cycle of trying to reach that goal of perfection. All you’re doing is exhausting yourself with negativity and preventing yourself from actually growing and feeling happy in your own skin.

Another important point to remember is that the people you see on social media are at different stages in life. I realised that I was consuming representations of women in the media that were 10 years older than me. They had already experienced what I was experiencing and had learnt to be comfortable in their own bodies. I was comparing my starting point to someone else’s end goal. Is that really fair?

Now I’m not saying that I have completely mastered self-love and that I have ignored all of these negative influences on social media. But I am learning, I have come further than I ever thought I would. I stopped watching what everyone else is doing or achieving and put that energy into what makes me happy and where I want to be. Do what makes you happy and don’t lose yourself at the expense of pleasing others. Imagine what you could achieve if you stopped putting yourself down.

It’s okay to not see everything as perfect, but life is too short to spend it trying to be the person you think everyone else will like. Be the person you like and make decisions for yourself.

The first step in cutting out these toxic effects of beauty standards is to unfollow or mute things that make you feel like you are not good enough and follow things that lift you up. I don’t think all social media is bad. You have control over who you follow and there are some great accounts for body positivity and promoting self-love.

A final reminder – we are still living in a global pandemic so please don’t forget to be kind to yourself. There is no right way to deal with what is going on in the world right now. If you aren’t where you want to be, that is completely fine.